Do You Know Your Core Values? Why Do They Matter?
My core values are Family, Respect, Adventure, Service and Beauty, not necessarily in that order. Why does that matter? Clarity about my core values helps me make decisions that allow me to fulfill my purpose and enjoy my life. It contributes to my professional success and personal happiness. Like many, I love and value my family above all. I have three grown children and four grandchildren. I’m fortunate to live near my oldest son and two of my grandchildren, so I see them often. While not physically close to my younger son, daughter and two of my grandchildren, I see them a few times a year and stay in close communication. In the words of John Medina, author of Brain Rules, I hang onto my loved ones for dear life. Admittedly, I didn’t need to complete a core values exercise to identify Family as one of my core values.
But, the exercise of identifying my other core values has been helpful. It’s made it easier for me to make both professional and personal decisions. Respect is one of my core values. I rarely get angry, but I’ve discovered that when I do, it’s often because I’ve experienced disrespect. Perhaps I’ve been disrespected myself, but I’m just as likely to become angry if I’ve seen someone else disrespected. I can now identify the reason for my anger faster and, more importantly, I can then decide what action I’m going to take, if any. Does the incident warrant a response from me? Can I make a difference? How? These are questions I ask myself, before deciding to speak up. This process has helped me make faster, better and more effective decisions.
On a lighter note, l discovered that Adventure is one of my core values. Looking back, I’ve always loved adventure, but I’d never recognized how much. Since I embraced its importance to me, I’ve taken advantage of opportunities as they’ve arisen, including trips to Rwanda and Guatemala, that have made my life richer and fuller. And I plan for small adventures, new day hikes and trips closer to home.
Service relates primarily to my work with my clients. My purpose is to help people succeed. I do that by serving my clients, both individually and collectively. And why does Beauty matter? Well, I love natural beauty, so driving in the desert or mountains refreshes me. Perhaps more practically, making sure that my home and office fit my personal description of beauty helps me enjoy my life more and work more productively.
Clarifying their core values has helped my clients, too. As a group of attorneys left my leadership class, one returned to the front of the classroom to thank me for the core values exercise. He went on to explain, “My wife and I have been arguing, because I thought I needed to get a job in a fancy New York law firm to be successful, but she doesn’t want to move. After completing your core values exercise I realized that everything that matters to me is right here.” I helped another client uncover the source of his anger with one of his employees by exploring the triggering incident and his values. He thought what she had done was disloyal to him and his firm, yet he didn’t think he could confront her without telling her the source of his information. His core values of loyalty and confidentiality were at loggerheads. Realizing this eased his anger, but didn’t resolve it. We then identified a way he could discuss the situation with his employee without revealing his original source. As a result, they resolved the problem and she continues to be a valuable employee.
How can identifying your core values help you be a better leader and make your life better?
Email josmith@josmithassociates if you’d like a simple, complimentary Core Values exercise.